Dealing with Parental Stress
Parenthood is full of joy, but it can also be incredibly demanding. When combined with everyday stresses
like bills, household management, childcare, and maintaining relationships, it can lead to parental stress. While some stress can be positive, serving as an incentive for improvement and sharpening our focus, prolonged and overwhelming stress can be detrimental to our well-being. It’s easy to overlook our own needs while trying to support everyone else, but it’s important to remember that we deserve care and attention too, so that we can give our best to our loved ones.
You might feel like making a change for yourself is impossible due to reasons such as lack of childcare, support, or financial constraints. This blog offers some options for making positive changes when dealing with parental stress. You could start by doing one thing every day and gradually work towards achieving a more balanced life.
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by emotions such as exhaustion, anger, fear, and anxiety as a parent, but when these feelings become uncontrollable and joy and hope seem absent, it’s time to take action. Remember, you are not alone. There are numerous services available to provide support. Starting with organizations like Plunket and Citizens Advice Bureau can direct you to the services that best suit your current needs. Whether it’s financial assistance, mental health support, parenting strategies, or even surrogate grandparents, and there are resources ready to help if you take the first step.
Most of all, we need to be reminded that our own well-being is just as important as that of those around us. A fuller emotional tank allows us to better meet the needs of others. Here are some helpful strategies to help with parental stress that may work for you:
- talk about your feelings with your partner or a trusted friend
- set realistic (small and achievable) goals
- meet up with friends
- join a support or community group (such as your local Parents Centre committee!)
- get out of the house- take time out for yourself (bath, relaxing music, massage, or simply go outside and into nature)
- get enough sleep
- turn off your phone at a set time of night
- say “No” to people who add to your stress levels
- surround yourself with supportive friends
- eat healthy food
- drink lots of water
- have fun with your kids!
- stop trying to be superwoman or superman
- lower your expectations and let housework or long grass wait
- organise a ‘girls’ or ‘boys’ night out once a month
- ask yourself: “Is this really important”?
- say affirmations: “I am doing the best that I can” and “I can handle this” and “this too shall pass”
meditate - take up something new – arts, pilates, yoga or Zumba classes (there are many you can take your child to)
- let go – realise there are some things in life over which you have no control
take one day at a time (one hour at a time if you need to) - plan ahead, (e.g. pack your nappy bag, hang out washing the night before)
- do unpleasant or quick jobs first
Before you dismiss this list as too difficult, STOP and pick just one thing to focus on. Make it happen not just today, but also tomorrow and the next day. If things get tough, set an alarm on your phone to remind you to step outside the door and just breathe. Taking a few minutes each day to breathe slowly and fully can change your life and well-being. Accept that you can’t be perfect, but know that you are trying your best, and that is more than good enough.